QUIZ #25: reading comprehension

Please read the following then answer the questions below.

Our hero is lying on the ground. He has just regained consciousness after the explosion. He stands up, dusts himself off, and walks down the street. He is in the middle of an industrial part of town.

He sees a door that is ajar. He enters and finds himself in a long hallway. He walks down the hall, finds a bathroom, goes in, goes into a stall and sits down without taking down his pants. He puts his head in his hands and sobs.

He looks up and written on the door of the stall in tiny letters is the word "nougat". He takes out a pen but can't find any paper, so he takes some toilet paper and writes "nougat" on that. He carefully folds the square and places it in the locket around his neck. He looks around for more graffiti and finds "here I sit all broken hearted . . . " He looks around some more and finds some other bits. Then he finds "for a good time call Walter 652-8177" he takes out his pen, gets another square of toilet paper, writes it down and puts it in his locket.

Another man enters the bathroom and goes into the adjoining stall. After a few moments, the new guy says, "Aww, nuts!" then knocks on the stall wall. "Hey, pal. Could you spare a couple a' post-its?." "Ah . . . sure." Our hero hands them over. "Thanks, guy, you're a lifesaver. You know, most guys would just leave ya hangin', ya know what I mean. Hey, nice shoes. I don't recognize them. You work here?" "No, no I don't" "Oh, well. Nice to meet you. I'm Walter." "Walter?" "Yup" "'for a good time call Walter' Walter?" "that's me, you looking for a good time?" Our hero pauses for a moment then smiles, "I sure am! Isn't everybody?" "You'd be surprised. Some guys' idea of a good time is leavin' another guy hangin' in the next stall, you know what I mean." "Yeah" "So, what kind of good time you looking for?" our hero thinks about it "I don't know." "Sure you do. Bowling? Poker? Frisbee? Record shopping? You name it." "Record shopping sounds nice." "Record shopping it is! I'll meet you out front at 6:30." "all right." "all right." "bye" "bye" Walter leaves.

Our hero exits the stall, washes his hands then exits the bathroom and walks down the hall. A group of elementary school children are touring the building which turns out to be a factory that makes some kind of new fangled yoyo-hulahoop. He goes on the tour with them. At the end of the tour, everyone gets a free yoyo-hulahoop. Our hero plays with it and turns out to be an expert at it. Everybody is so impressed by his abilities, he is asked to be the official yoyo-hulahoop mascot and to demonstrate the yoyo-hulahoop to children all over the world. His abilities are transcendent and he becomes internationally beloved by children of all ages.

At 6:25 he looks at the clock and leaves to go outside. Walter shows up right on time and walks over to him. "What kind of record store you into? Big, little, new, used?" "Little used sounds nice." "Little used it is." They go record shopping and our hero does indeed have a good time.

5 points: Well. We don't know what to tell you. Maybe you'll find what you're looking for here. You make us tired. So very very tired.

From 6 to 10 points: Ok. Let's get to work. Stand up, go to the mirror, tilt your head all the way over to the left, look yourself in the eye and ask yourself: "Am I really this pathetic?" If the answer is "no" go eat a good hot lunch (sure! you can eat lunch at 2am.) and take the quiz again. If the answer is "yes" that's good, that's a step, now you've learned something!

From 11 to 15: Not bad. You are trying so hard! Your next assignment: try not to try.

From 16 to 20: Come on now . . . focus . . . focus . . . THERE! It's right there!

From 21 to 25: Yeah . . . you're close . . . you're so close! If it smells yummy, go ahead and taste it.

26 points: Please contact an Oober representative as soon as possible to continue your training.